Amy (32) is engaged to Dwight (37). They live in Lelystad, and Amy is the mother of two daughters: Loïs (2.5 years) and Ella (3 months). Amy works as a primary school teacher but is currently enjoying a few more weeks of maternity leave. Ella caught the RSV virus when she was just three weeks old.

Our second pride, Ella, was born completely healthy at 41 weeks. From the very first minute, Loïs was an incredibly loving sister. She showered Ella with hugs and kisses. Loïs had already taught us how valuable and important a child is. I almost exploded with love for my two girls. Loïs goes to daycare every Wednesday with great enthusiasm. Two weeks after Ella was born, Loïs came home from daycare with a runny nose. At that moment, my overprotective motherly instincts kicked in because I wanted to protect my newborn from any harm. But we soon realized it’s impossible to keep a two-year-old away from her newborn sister, whom she adores so much. We did try to limit the kisses and hugs.

On Saturday night, Ella started feeding poorly, and I noticed she was breathing more heavily. She also coughed occasionally but fortunately didn’t have a fever. I immediately searched online to see what it could be and quickly came across articles about the RSV virus. The next morning, a good friend came to visit. She works as a doctor's assistant and heard Ella coughing. She told me that she recognized the sound from babies who had come to her clinic and had caught the RSV virus. I felt uneasy, and that same Sunday afternoon, I called the midwife. She advised me to call the out-of-hours GP service immediately. There, Ella showed her coughing, but we were sent home with the message that there was nothing concerning in her lungs. I was partly relieved by this message, but I wasn’t reassured because I could see that Ella was not herself. The next day, Ella’s feeding got worse and worse. She was also almost impossible to wake up. I expressed my worries to Dwight for the umpteenth time, but he was fed up with my concerns, holding on to the doctor’s words at the GP service.

The next morning, Ella developed rapid breathing with chest retractions and flaring nostrils. I contacted the GP, and since these were corona symptoms, I was only allowed to come at the end of the day during the corona consultation hours. My mother came over to check on us, and I burst into tears. You feel so powerless. I wanted to protect Ella so badly, and it felt like I was failing. She was still so small. Ella’s face started to look gray, and my mother decided I shouldn’t wait and needed to call again. Luckily, I was immediately allowed to visit the GP, while my mother stayed home with Loïs. The GP only needed to listen briefly to Ella and suspected the RSV virus, saying we had to go straight to the emergency department at Almere hospital. On the way, I called Dwight, who was attending a course elsewhere in the country, to tell him Ella wasn’t doing well and that he needed to come to the hospital.

Once at the hospital, Ella was put on a monitor. Her oxygen levels were low, and they attached various sensors to her. A mother’s heart breaks seeing her tiny baby like this, but I knew she was now in good hands. I was so relieved we were finally taken seriously. We were moved to a room in the pediatric ward. An hour later, the test results came back: Ella had caught the RSV virus. I was angry and sad at the same time. If only I had listened more to my mother’s instinct and hadn’t been sent away from the GP service. At that moment, there was no time to be angry because I wanted to be there for my little girl and fight this terrible virus with her. Amid loud screaming, a feeding tube was inserted into Ella. She was also given oxygen and a suppository every few hours. Saline drops were put in her nose, along with xylometazoline drops.

The plan was to let Ella drink by herself as much as possible and give the rest through the feeding tube to ensure she got enough nutrition to get stronger. After each feeding, she stopped after just 10 cc. She simply couldn’t continue because she was so breathless and didn’t have the strength to drink on her own. Every now and then, she had severe coughing fits. The only thing I could do was hold her upright during those episodes. During such fits, I often pressed the alarm button because it was so intense I feared she wouldn’t recover. The monitor kept beeping during these episodes because her heart rate went above 200 for a long time. I saw so much fear and panic in Ella’s eyes — it was horrible. Unfortunately, the nurses couldn’t do much at those moments other than keep her upright. It was terrible to see Ella like that. After a coughing fit that often lasted fifteen minutes, she would collapse like a rag doll into my arms and fall asleep. She was exhausted and so weak. I cried a lot; I wished I could take it all from her.

Days went by, and Ella’s condition didn’t improve much, but thankfully it didn’t get worse either. Dwight came by whenever he could. He also took Loïs with him sometimes, who missed her sister and mother terribly. She knew Ella was sick and had to stay in the hospital. I sang songs to Ella, and she often lay with me or in her hospital crib. The nurses had her sleep on her stomach to help her breathe better. The nurses decided to see how Ella would do without oxygen. They had already lowered the oxygen, so this was the next step. Unfortunately, it didn’t go well, and the monitor kept beeping because her oxygen levels were too low. She went back on oxygen. The course of RSV is hard to predict, but the pediatrician who visited every morning hoped she had passed her peak. Gradually, she started drinking more on her own. Whatever she didn’t drink was given via the feeding tube. The coughing fits were still there but thankfully shortened. Many visitors were scheduled whom I had to cancel. Everyone was rooting for us.

Ella improved from day six onward and, among all the sensors on her face, showed me her first smile. What a magical moment. My little girl, so small and fighting this awful virus. Another attempt was made to let Ella breathe independently, and thankfully it went well. I was so proud of my child when she drank her bottle completely for the first time. I cried again, but this time tears of joy. If she got through the night well, there was a very good chance we could go home the next morning. She had to keep drinking well on her own, which she did, including her nighttime bottle. The next morning, the pediatrician discharged us from the hospital. Ella wasn’t completely out of the woods but could continue to recover at home.

Ella is now three months old and still has wheezing breathing. This may last a while longer, but hopefully, she will outgrow it. Luckily, she is doing well, though I remain extra vigilant. She drinks and sleeps well and is very cheerful. She flashes a big smile whenever someone looks at her. The pediatrician told us we should never have been sent away from the GP service. An important lesson, which keeps coming back: always listen to your mother’s instinct.